The Ultimate Redneck Page
You Might Be A Redneck If.....
- If that billboard sign that says, "JUST SAY NO TO CRACK" reminds you to pull up your pants...
- If you think that a VOLVO, is part of a Women's Anatomy...
- If you think that the last part of the Star Spangled Banner is: GENTLEMEN, START YOUR ENGINES...
- If your Family Tree does NOT FORK...
- If you stare at Orange Juice, because it says,"CONCENTRATE"...
- If you idea of taking your wife on a CRUISE, is circling the Dairy Queen...
- If your Brother-in-Law, is your Uncle, and your Grandfather...
- If your Halloween Pumpkin, had more TEETH than your wife...
- If you think that the OJ Trial, is an Orange Juice Taste test...
- If you go to your Family Reunion, to pick up Women...
- If your idea of High Quality entertainment, is a Six Pack and a Bug Zapper...
- If you have a RAG, for a GAS CAP...
- If you consider your Liscence Plate personalized, because your dad made it in JAIL...
- If you have to go OUTSIDE, to get something from the Fridge...
- If your Truck has CURTAINS in it, but your House does not...
- If you have ever made CHANGE, in the Offering Plate...
- If you have Spray Painted your girlfriends name on an Overpass...
- If your Richest Relative just got a new House, and you have to help take the WHEELS off of it...
- If you can't MARRY your SWEETHEART, cause' there's a LAW Against it...
- If you consider 5th Grade, Your Senior Year...
- If your Hunting Dog, costs more than the Truck you drive him around in...
- If your DOG can't watch you eat with out getting SICK...
- If you have lost TEETH, from opening a bottle of BEER...
- If your Whole Family, has sat arround waiting for a call from the GOVERNOR, to spared a loved one...
- If you own a HOMEMADE Fur Coat...
- If your idea of "Taking Out the Trash" Is taking out your IN-LAWS to a movie...
- If your Coffee Table, used to be a Cable Spool...
- If the Home Shopping Operator, recongized your VOICE...
- If you think a Bubble Bath, begins with eating BEANS for dinner...
- If anybody in your Family died right after saying, "Hey Ya'll Watch This"...